When I feel like I don't want to walk anymore, I just fall down and away into the night, there's no point in retaliating, I'm just free falling into the darkness, nothing could be more comfortable.

Above all I believe in love. Love is all everyone needs, it's what we live off.
The second greatest force is music. Music alters your emotions, it makes you fall in love, hate people, get irritated, feel calm, and it's all done through sound waves. And it's the number one thing that gets stuck in your head.
Pictures do too, so that's why I love art, you can express yourself so much, it doesn't matter if the whole world doesn't see it, it helps release things.

I believe you have to stay true to yourself and never let anyone bust into your mind and take your thoughts and replace it with theirs. I hate being controlled.
I'm a pretty jealous person, but I suppose it isn't a bad thing, it just shows that I'm not an emotionless being. I can cry if I want to, and I cry in pretty much every movie.

I love my family, they are the best people in the world, my sisters are so important to me, I can swear at them and the next minute we're friends again. No matter how messed up we are, we're always there for each other, and that's all that counts.
I can't wait to get wrinkles, and all those things people hate. It'll just show that you've lived your life.
You can only live once so you may as well leave your mark.

Ah.
Life is starting to get better after all these months of feeling like total shit. And also being abandoned by... nevermind. What's the point in saying it?!
Hey! Du! Kleiner Android! Auf deinem Satellit!
Humanoid is so great ^.^
I actually have nothing to write about, I'm just being boredddd.
My art folio is due like.. next week or some shit. Kinda not freaking out..
Pwoah, it's cold. I thought it was supposed to be Spring!!!! D:
Why am I up this early?! I woke up at 9. And it's Sunday.. I should be in bed sleeeping
I have no school tomorrow, yaaay! Coz everyone has practice exams. Which I don't...BUT I have 2 exams on my goddamn birthday D: And it doesn't help that you get older too

I can't believe how ignorant people are. It seriously NEVER stops. People are retarded. I want to go be a cat for the rest of my life. They're amazing, and so goddamn surreal. like this holyfucking cat, it looked EXACTLY like my cat. We were on holiday and I met it, and i was like O.o WTF are you doing here?!
This one looks the other one down there.
He's so gorgeous. I love my cats. :D
I want a dog though, I really really want a dog!

provided by flash-gear.com

I cannot wait until Humanoid... I am seriously dying..
I hate how my blog is always about them, but I can't help it :B

I want this camera and I love this song.


Yus. Finally the last day of term!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait until the holidays, I need rest, sleep and sun :) It will be good.... except for the studying part......... :'(
But yes.


Ooh, and my birthday is soon :B YAY I can't wait for that....

I quite like Depeche Mode... They are cool. They're a bit like Cinema Bizarre, but not quite... I love discovering new music! It's just so much fun :B
When Humanoid comes out, I'll be the happiest little girl in the world!! It's unfair that the US gets like 30 different versions, well more like 8.. hahah. Ah New Zealand isn't fair to us!
I like these pictures on my blog :B hahahah, I am crazzzy...

I have 2 essays to write this weekend, one English and one German! I kinda can't be bothered with it... I just cant manage to start it.. I can do the rest though :)

Well I'm bored of my ramblings...

Haha, that's so cool!! I likkke :)

Shatter

I'm so bad at this blog thing.
I get distracted and can't be bothered writing. I need a new computer.
Well I suppose I'll stick this poem I wrote here:

The glass smashes into a million pieces
Just like my heart shatters for you
The shatter takes just seconds
My love remains forever

Our hearts keep shattering
Our minds keep blaring
Words and words
Of love and hate

I don't know how I do
I don't know what I do
I never think of anything else
Your mind is in my head
Together we're alive, more than ever
We don't let go, there is no point

People sit and stare
The beauty is too bright
The envy and the horror
To the mothers eyes
Her child is almost there

The state of our minds
Is past bizarre
No one knows what goes on
In the smoke, in the dark
We'll just have to wait and see
What wonders may come through

We'll sing ourselves to sleep
We'll laugh all through the day
Side by side for 36 hours
As long as our heats don't shatter
Into a million pieces
Over and over
We'll go on.

Did you like it?? ;D


I think my ear is screwed.
It has this delay
and peoples voices echo... man it's wierd (and yes, I know I spell wierd wrong. But it sounds better than weird.. and in German it would be spelt that way coz it's the ie not a ei sound/ ahhh shut up you know-it-all-German-freak.)
I had an earache(like super super bad) last week. and now it's all fklfjsdkfhs..
Haaaaah.
OH and Tokio Hotels' album HUMANOID is coming out here!!!! YUS YUS YUS I am so happy...
AND in 3 versions! I think New Zealand is finally going up in the TH world... ;D

Rainbow Eyes

I seriously can't wait to get more Tokio Hotel into my system! It feels so great when you hear new music, especially from a band that you love. I love the feeling of listening to a song for the first time, you get all excited and you have to hear it another 4 times so that you can remember every part of it. I hope they release HUMANOID in New Zealand. Or else I'll have to buy it for heaaaps, but I would waste money on them....

In year 13, so like.. 2011, I really want to go to Vienna, Germany. There's this place called ActiLingua, which is like a course for international people to go to, and you stay there and learn it. Ah, it'd be so amazing.. I might do a half year one, but I'm not too sure yet...Next year I will definintley go on the exchange, I hope to go back to Munich though, I wanna see where I used to live again.

I'm reading Michael Jacksons autobiography "Moonwalk" It's really good. Man, that man is seriously amazing... I don't care what anyone else says, he is just seriously... I can't explain it. I know that every fan thinks that they love him more, but I'm not going to fight like that. It's the same with Tokio Hotel, all the fans are insanely mad about the boys, there's no point in forcing it on them. I would hate to be famous. You get treated like shit and people make up the most retarded things about you.


I have a German internal tomorrow, which is supposed to be a conversation, about my life in New Zealand, which is hard enough in English! "Wenn ich wieder in Neuseeland bin, werde ich meine Freundinnen und Familie sehen, dann werde ich mit meine Schwestern nach Lake Tekapo fahren, weil wir zelten möchten." That's like 4 structures and future tense, so it counts for more :)

Oh god, I had a dream that my cat (the one below) had rainbow eyes!! It was amazing...

I've been doing craziness with my sisters, my oldest sister moved home, and it is a bit like old times, we are still total idiots, and I love it! They are my best friends...

Cat

This is such a gorgeous cat.
I love my cat too. He is sitting on me right now, he comes into my room by scratching at the door, or standing up to play with the door handle, so I open it, he meows to say hello, and goes and sits on my bed :) If I'm over on the computer, he'll jump up to my desk and then hop onto my seat and stand on the keyboard!
He's beautiful, he gives kisses, and I really would die if anything happened to him.

Introduction

Well, well, well, I don't really have something to say today, but I will soon :)
I need somewhere to vent, because I can. And I like to think that someone will read my nothingness... I have heaps to say about everyone and everything. I don't care how offensive I get, I know people that are ten times worse than me.

Let me list the things I find the most important.

1. Being happy with myself, what I'm doing, and what I am going to become. So far my life ahs been filled with everyone judging and being a total bitch about everything. I'm learning to be strong, but sometimes that all crumbles down, but that always happens, you can't hold a building forever. It's a bit self-centered, but for ages I have been living so that my family are happy, I may as well start to enjoy it.
   
2. Love. I don't believe in a life without love. No one can live without love. Without love, there would be no life. Everyone loves food, their family, their-selves, and all those personal things such as music, their job, or whatever that person is made of. Love controls everyone and anything. It is the greatest force in the world.
   
3. My family. My family have helped me through hell and back. Even when my family were causing the hell, they helped me come back. I've been through absolute shit, and many times I thought that I wasn't going to make it. They've always been there for me, and I love them more than anything in this world. My cats are also included. I absolutely love animals, I love them far more than humans-humans are bullshit.
4. Making a difference. I am never going to shut up. There's too much that needs to be done in this world. People are dying, people are going hungry, trees are getting cut down, animals are dying- so people can have chemical filled products to smear over their hideous human faces. There is too much unfairness. All those rich families that get heaps of food for dinner, and always have left overs, and what do they do? They throw it out. I feel so guilty when I waste food. If there was a way for me to give people food, I would.
   I don't want a stupid boring office job, or to be some rich, up-themselves, selfish human.
5. Treating animals with more respect than humans. You can't send a pregnant woman into space , but yet it is still okay to send up some pregnant rats. Those rats have feelings, they have brains. If you conduct tests on humans, then your results would be more accurate wouldn't they? But that's not humane. It's just crazy that people can get away with overpowering animals because they are the smaller creature. Humans find the easiest and cheapest way to do everything, all for convenience and money. It's abusing the rights of everything living. All those meat farms treat the animals with such shit that it makes me want to throw up and kill everyone involved every time I think about it.I especially hate the people who can do this type of thing. It is bloody fucking disgusting. I wrote to them, and they said that they were not taking them out of their habitat- what shit. How else are they going to breed them? It just makes me hope that I die before anything else happens.

I've said enough for tonight.